"I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out., I'm falling apart... I'm barley breathing, with a broken heart, that is still beating. In the pain... is there healing? In your name, I find meaning."
I came home tonight completely convicted, broken and my back THROBBING in pain.
I realize now, how I thought that I had confidence, confidence in what I believed, confidence that I could do it. Tonight I see how quickly this confidence has turned into arrogance.
Tonight I am on my knees, arms wide open. DECLARING I NEED HIS HELP! Declaring that I am completely broken. Declaring I am empty and NEED to be filled once again with Him. Declaring that I need to stop PRETENDING everything is alright and that I need to take DOWN these high, high walls I've built all around me.
I claim that I have done all that I can... and I CAN'T do it on my own... I've come to the end of everything that I've got. There isn't any of me left. My cracks are too wide for me to keep going the way that I've been going, they NEED to be repaired. They need to be filled with a incomprehensible love. My heart has been torn too many times that I can't revive it. It needs to be put into the overflowing hands of grace of my merciful Saviour. My soul has been exhausted and completely worn out. It needs to be rejuvenated by the Lord Almighty. And my hope needs to be replenished by the Hope of the Nations.
Tonight I realized how completely broken I am.
I'm damaged at best. And tonight I DECLARE that unashamed...
Tonight it is the honest cry of my humbled heart that God will just come down and REIGN in my life. That He will take CONTROL over my life, and that I'll be humble enough to allow HIM to do it!
Give me life again... because I just want to be whole.
"So I'm holding on, I'm barely holding onto you. I'm hanging on, another day, just to see what, you'll throw my way... I'm hanging on, to the words you say, you said that I will, I will be okay."
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