When asked why today by a friend, I couldn't answer why. There is no real good reason. I think it's been because I just can't seem to put into words exactly how I am feeling or exactly how I am processing the things that are happening in my life right now.
I'm completely fed up with being in pain, but I'm coping. I'm struggling with seeing God in the midst of all this, but I see Him doing wonders in my life. I don't understand why this has happened in my life, but I still believe without a doubt that God is with me every single step of the way. I feel like I don't have the strength to continue on, but I know that He provides strength for the day. I feel completely lost, but I also am able to get completely lost in His Word. He seems so far away, yet I am overwhelmed by His love for me. I lose sight of the fact that God is still good, even though my pain isn't good. I get frustrated that nobody understands my pain, but I have a Saviour who knows EXACTLY how I feel.
So, I come before the Lord once again. Completely humbled. Heart completely abandoned. Unable to express my feelings, but knowing that He knows. Coming to Him with my frustrations and hurts. Coming to Him with complete confidence in His promises. Wholly dependent on Him with everything that I have left.
