What a beautiful Savior.

This one is His.

I give it all to Him.

No matter what the cost.

I have already lost.

I can't do it alone.

I need Him by my side.

Hope cannot be found.

This far into the ground.

I have lifted up my sorrow.

It overfills His hands.

I had to look away.

It was not meant to stay.

My pain thus far remains

But in rememberence to Him.

Jesus paid the price.

The final sacrifice.

With this thought I'm lifted.

How could I've overlooked it?

Even though I'm hurting.

He stands there still alerting.

What a beautiful thing.

I simply do not comprehend.

What a beautiful Savior.

I say again:

What a beautiful Savior.

Relief.

"Answer me when I call to you, O my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; be merciful to me and hear my prayer." Psalm 4:1

When Jesus died on the cross giving up His life in place for us he boldly stated "It is finished." (Luke 19:30) In the same way when we completely surrender something to Jesus and we declare for His will to be done not ours; it is finished. We have left it for Jesus to say yes, no or later.

These past weeks have been a struggle, so many things going on with my family, with India and with me. I am currently finishing the Old Testament and read in Nahum 1:7 "The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; he knows those who take refuge in him." And I thought this was just AMAZING.

God doesn't get to know us better when everything is perfect, and when we are strong. He gets to know us better when we are in hard times, in the times where he comes alongside us and helps us through our troubles, through our hardships and through the time where we don't even know what way is up or down. God is there and by pressing into Him it allows us to become more aware of who our Father is, and who He still is through our hard times.

That was my week this week; crying out to God telling Him I didn't know what was going on, I couldn't see what was up and what was down. It took a couple days for me to stand up, take a step back and realize that no matter what is going on in my life that God is unchanging. What I thought of Him in the middle of Honduras, or not going to Brasil, and at a weekend service; His characteristics never change, He will always be my loving Father who is my refuge in times of need.

I gave up all my desires, all my dreams and all my plans for the future. It was harder than I thought it would be. It comes down to the fact that I trust God more than I trust myself. It comes down to the fact that God knows more about me than I know myself, He knows my desires and the best part of it all is that He's going to be there holding my hand, lifting my chin up in hard times, and when I need Him the most I'll be there wrapped in His arms and He'll be there comforting me reminding me that this is HIS will.

This has been a HUGE relief this week. It's in ALL in God's hands now!!

"I know you've washed me white  Turned my darkness into light  I need your peace to get me through  To get me through this night  I can't live by what I feel  But by the truth your word reveals  I'm not holding on to you  But your holding on to me  Your holding on to me " Casting Crowns

It's been a few weeks of not knowing what lies ahead, of not knowing when I am going to leave. It's been a few weeks of trusting God that His timing is perfect.