Hands of Love

To be held in abounding love is unlike any other feeling in the world. The likes of which can be compared to nothing other than perfect peace. 

Love presented itself to me today in the purest form. It showed up unconditionally with the full knowledge of my flaws and failures. Its hand rested upon my greatest mistake. The hands fully understood and realized my deepest hearts intentions. However, judgement vanished. My insecurities didn't exist anymore. My shame was covered by those hands. My pain was felt by those hands. Love's hands were my protection tonight.

Love humbled itself and caressed my feet. Showing that no part of me was out of reach for it and every single bit of me was covered. My guard fell. The areas in which my walls are built up so high came tumbling down at the first hint of love. It permeated my body. I couldn't reject it, my body ached for it and yearned for more of it.

Love's eye caught mine and my soul knew that it oversaw the hurt that those scars caused me; it saw me as a whole and beautiful daughter. Its eyes showed empathy, and where I blamed myself for fault, those loving eyes helped shift my perspective. A mothers touch of warmth and compassion. A mothers intuition of things exposed my secrets, but the love remained steadfast. The love that only a mom can provide along with the protection only a father presents.

As love held me the angels came to me and brought me into a place of deep rest. They whispered softly "come away my dear, we have Somebody who longs to be close to you." There He was in all His splendour and majesty.

Then I awoke in loves arms. At rest. A calm that I had never felt covered my body. A supernatural peace that only He could provide. It was a feeling I haven't felt in a long time: refreshment. 

Tonight I was reminded that God truly loves me; and not only does He love me, He sees my failings and loves me despite them. He loves me through them. He loves me enough that He still sees who I truly am: who He created me to be.

The hands the held me today spoke louder than a million melodies could have. They represented and showed me love when words weren't getting through. The hands reminded me that I wasn't alone. Four hands of love. Love was lavished on me: a pretty princess. 

Today love encompassed me. It overwhelmed me. Love was saturated into my very being. Today I know that I am completely loved. 

Peace in the midst of decisions

Decisions need to be made soon. I have absolutely no idea which way to go, which path to go down, which direction He is leading me towards. They say options are a good thing. But options complicate things. Options cause stress; they cause anxiety.

Lord, I have no inclination of what You have ahead of me. No idea which way You will lead me. All paths are paths of healing. Each decision involves being loved back to life. Each option is completely full of You and the victory You bring to me.

Every time I think that I know in which direction that You are leading me towards I immediately change my mind and think again that the other option is just as valid.

However, I hear You throughout all of this. I feel Your presence here. I have peace. A peace that indeed surpasses understanding and my current circumstances. I hear You saying just to simply trust You throughout this entire time. I believe that I have been and I believe that I can trust Him to bring me to the place I need to go and to receive complete healing. I have confidence in that.

Though the decision should weigh me down and my mind should be racing. My initial response is that I am fine. My first thought is God’s got this and I know that God will bring me where I am supposed to go. That God will clear a path for me. He will take me the way that is right, even if it isn’t what I expect or what I would like.  I am committed to His plan no matter how difficult, because He has called me to it.

It doesn’t scare me that I’ll be hard. It just makes the healing and reward afterwards so much better and even more worth it.

After writing this I am actually excited that God is in control and that He has something so special and specific planned out all just for me. How incredible is that?